Since 2006 our church has attended, sponsored, and endorsed Lake Ann Camp (LA) in northern Michigan. This past weekend we attended our 4th Freeze Out (FO) Winter Retreat for J. High and High School students. Each FO there is a time of winter fun, friendship, and most of all Faith. This year the camp had added times where each church could get together with their own youth you talk to the hearts of the their kids. Leading up the FO I felt God was laying on my heart to talk about "Honor".
Growing up I had the idea in my head that "honor" meant to obey; I believed the two were synonymous but after studying it in preparation I realize it has nothing to do with each other. They are related, but not the same. Exodus 20.12 says that we are to "Honor [our] father and mother that we may have long days in the land that God has given to you." The traditional view of this verse is that it means we have to OBEY mom and dad. Though we should obey them (Eph. 6.1), it does not say to obey, it says to honor. The definition we used at FO was this: Honor: Willing obedience, defending reputation, and benefiting someone else. Let me explain...
Willing Obedience: When we honor someone we are obeying them, but when we are obeying, we are not necessarily honoring. I explained it this way: "You are talking with your best friend at school and make plans for them to come over later that night but when your mom or dad come home they say, "Lets just have a quiet night tonight. We are not having anyone over but just staying in and staying low-key." You have a choice of your response when you call your friend, you can say, "You can't come over! My is so stupid! I told them that you were coming over they said no just because they are tired! So what! What a stupid rule!" or you can respond, "Hey, it isn't going to work out tonight. Mom/dad is pretty tired and just wants a quiet night here. We'll try again another time." Which one is honor? You get the point; both obeyed, one honored.
Defending Reputation: Honor is not done for our self (we will talk more about that later). In the military there is a lot done in the name of honor. Why? Because it is about defending the reputation of America. America is known for being a strong and independent country; we command respect by the world and it comes down to the pride we are have in it. Just a soldier defends the pride and lifestyle of our country, we must honor our parents by defending what they have worked for. A child can ruin the reputation of a family. How many times have we been in a public place and heard a child that needed some serious discipline and we say, "Why don't the shut that kid up!" Or you see on TV a juvenile who begins to have a string of petty crimes under their belt and who is blamed... the parent. Some studies who that in more cases than not it is the teenage kids that can ruin the reputation of a family more than the parents. In the case of honor we must take pride in the family we are in because we see it as a gift from God and therefore are willing to defend it even if we don't agree with it. Again, the analogy of our country; we don't agree with everything that goes along within it but we honor it just the same in word and deed. Side note: One teen said, "See it is our fault when our parents get a divorce." NO! This is not talking about marriage, this family pride while we respect and honor it.
About Someone Else: Honor is taking the essence of pride and directing it somewhere else. When we have pride, especially self-pride we do anything to promote it and defend it. Honor redirects that motivation and puts it on someone else. How many times have we heard that phrase: "yada yada... in honor of John Doe." What does that mean? Something was done for the benefit of someone else. At our meeting time I gave the example that if one of the teens along were to have a horrible accident which landed her on her death bed that day, and she looked at me in her last breath and said, "Pastor, as my last dying request I want you to go down the tubing hill in only your boxers." Do you know what I would try to do that night? Yes! I would try to go down the hill in my boxers! Why? Because I would do all I could to honor her last request! Certainly it would not be about my own pleasure, but to please someone else. The same is true with our parents; our actions is not about us but about them. It also must be pointed out that Jesus did make a last request when he left (Matthew 28.19) to go and make disciples of him. Are we going to honor.
In our last meeting together I asked the athletes these questions; Does your coach have the right to tell you what time you get up? What do eat? What to wear? What time to be where? That you need to improve? etc... They answer for all of them was "Yes". My next question was, "Why?" To which they said, "To improve your game". When I asked the exact same questions but changed it to "Does your mom or dad have the right to...?" They all said "no!!!". I also repeated them with "Does God have the right...?" This was a great eye opener to many of the as we revealed that they were focused more on honoring the wrong people in life but that the same reason our parents set standards for us to follow is the same reason a coach sets standards for their team... to improve you.
We returned from FO on Sunday afternoon. I was very excited when after the evening service I had already heard from parents who wondered what had happened to their kids at FO because they were like a different child. When they would have fought over an issue the teen was respectful! Praise God!
