Wouldn't it be neat if you could push a magic button and take the place of one of the disciples for a moment, or even a few moments? In the back our minds we believe that if we could just see Jesus and sit by his side that our doubts would melt away and we could follow him the way he intends us to. Which disciple would you like to be for you moment? Personally I would rather not be Judas Iscariot. John would be neat but I don't need to be Thomas or Peter; I already struggle with doubt from time to time and put my foot in my mouth. Which would you choose.
This would undoubtedly be a neat experience if it could be done, but would it melt away any spiritual struggles? Unfortunately, no. In John 21 it records Jesus appearing the disciples as they are out fishing. They have been out all night and caught nothing; we probably all know the story, but do you know the background and setting? Jesus has recently resurrected and the disciples have seen him twice already (which you likely think would solve all of your spiritual doubts and shame to have seen this account first hand) but the disciples continue in fear. Before Jesus had been crucified we have accounts of them being very busy in ministry and serving along side Jesus. After Jesus' resurrection we find them in their popular hideout... huddled in an attic in fear of death. Time seems to be stacking atop itself and they have time to burn as they cower. Finally as John 21.3 records, Peter says, "Guys, I'm going out fishing" and almost instinctively some of the others say, "Hey, I'll come too. Wait up." They are doing this under the cover of nightfall. Ask yourself this, aren't these God's chosen people who he trained to carry the torch after the resurrection? Now they are just going fishing when no one is looking, and doing nothing when people are?
Peter and the others are starting to regress from the divine call; they are returning to the people they used to be: fishermen. After the fish all night they find that they have miserably failed at what they thought would be something they could always fall back on. About that time some crazy old loon calls from the shore and tells them to try fishing on the other side of the boat. What do they have to lose? They try it and it worked. They had more fish than they know what to do with and they recognize that the loon on the shore was really the very Son of God, Jesus Christ. He had come to visit them again. But, when did his visit begin? I believe that God had been with them all night. God was the one that didn't allow them to catch any fish to teach them a lesson: Whenever you chase your own plans, thought, ideas, or vocation instead of God's plan for your life you will only come up disappointed at best. God had moved his hand on them to fail in order to direct them back into his will and call for their life. Jesus essentially saw the recovering drunks car and the bar and went in to drag them out.
Back on the sea shore Jesus feed their belly then heads straight for the heart. Talking to Peter, the ringleader of the fishing trip, Jesus tells him to "Feed my lambs" and to "Feed my sheep" (v15-17). Jesus was reminding Peter of his divine call while Peter was sneaking out at night to do his own thing.
Peter knew what his divine call was. Peter knew that he had influence on others. Peter chose to use his power of influence to reject his call from God and get others to do the same. Jesus had to bring failure in the life of Peter so he could see that true success came from listening to the voice of God.
Where are you? Have you sneaked out at night to follow your own direction and areas but finding that all you continue to do is fail? Maybe it is time to start listening to the voice of God and returning to what he has called you to do in your life. When Peter listened to the voice of God he found that he life suddenly became so bountiful that he couldn't hardly contain it.
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